There's always room for one more using Rexona

Bright ideas such as this don't come into play too often. I tend to have a problem with deadlines. That's to say I rarely manage to meet them head on. Usually end up making a nifty detour from the leftish. Last night's deadline was no exception. A school report had been waiting its finishing touches for four days and having more important things to do, such as watching camcorder versions of the Hitman-movie, I hadn't really gotten around to it. So last night I figured I'd finally give it a go.

I had it all set up. Files opened, word processor ready, a pint'o'Battery just waiting to be engorged. And before my finger hit a key, my new ring tone made itself heard and in a flash I was off to the nearest pub playing billiards with the gang. So at about five o'clock in the night, or morning I guess it's called at that point, after a long Messenger chat and a failed attempt at getting properly blitzed, I opened the report again. Sure enough I got it done (and there was much rejoicing), but I haven't slept for a second. And being awake just on the power of too many energy drinks, well, just makes you feel a bit wobbly.

So I took it as my duty for the day to seem hungover and tired as hell. Indeed, it was fun for a while, until the morbid fatigue caught up with me.

I've come to the conclusion that people suck. I, as a significant superior to other people, don't suck, which means I'm immune to criticism on this subject. I generally have no problem with suckage, because I usually find ways to take advantage of it. I do however have a rapidly inflating issue for when, usually through the manipulation of bureaucracy, this suckage gains leverage over me. What I'm talking about is people, with a tendency to suck massively, abusing their authoritative position to force their inferior ideas as some prominent divine revelation. My patience grows mighty thin if my personal interests are jeopardized by despotism of this sort.

Also, another way in which people suck. Now, we've established that I don't suck, since I'm far superior to anyone else. But this works only because I know this. Let me explain. See, if I'd lie around whining about not being a superhuman, while rightly been clarified a superior individual, I'd, frankly, suck. I'm finding grand trouble in not issuing huge suckage for people who don't emphasize their strengths, but instead go about whining about their downsides. As a Finn, I realize we're not supposed to admit being good at bloody anything, but I've had enough of people whining about their epic failings in life, instead of throwing beach parties honouring their strong sides.

A while back, I wrote about planning awkward stuff to say to people. Tonight I noticed my output is hugely awkward, even without planning for it. So there we were, four guys waiting for a lift to take us to the party upstairs. A couple of girls asked if they'd fit in the same elevator. I, being the chatty sort of quick-witted bloke, briskly established that they'd be perfectly welcome, unless they SMELLED TOO BAD. Dunno really what the fuck I was thinking, it didn't even rank as one of the overdone wisecracks I usually make. The guys, with a look of "say what" on their faces, slapped their foreheads in a beautifully synchronized motion, and began a huge rant about my not-so-excellent oneliners. The girls also quite clearly explained they didn't think women should be addressed in this fashion.

Go down with a sinking ship, I thought, so I played my role to the end. In the elevator one of the girls apologized for their lack of humour, explaining that they'd evidently been given crap service by a cab driver. I saw this as an excellent opportunity to ante up, so I expertly pointed that I'm also a cab driver. Aye, fucking victorious.