Cynical and jaded

I have to use public transportation. That sucks. It also sucks when a drunkard, reeking of sweat, puke and age old booze, chooses to torment you by occupying the aisle side seat, thus blocking your escape route. Seriously, there should be a strict limit on the amount of smell allowed to emit in public spaces. I would've rather just told the odourmonkey to fuck off, but instead, being cunningly diplomatic, I asked him to let me pass, since I would be leaving at the next stop. When the guy noticed that in reality, I just moved to another part of the bus, he gave me some major evil eye. I played around with the mental image of the bus suddenly collapsing and brutally crushing the stinkwad between some horribly disfigured steel frames.

I suppose there's more than one way in unintentionally failing with women. There's the case where people don't end up having sex or being friends. Then there's the intervening form, where sex seems unavailable, but the friendship really isn't there either. There must be a better word for this uncanny valley of sorts, but I'll use the word blockhead to describe the unfortunates who end up there.

Tonight I went to a friend's housewarming party. Nothing much to be expected, a few drinks and a bit of fun. Surprisingly, there was this one girl getting awfully friendly with me. I had been under the conception that she had a boyfriend, so I didn't take much notice. But it went on and on. I let myself think that perhaps they had split up, and started giving similar signals back to her. First mistake. Things progressed to the point where I ended up in a bar with this girl. Second mistake. I spent the rest of the evening being awfully unsure what my part was in the whole picture, missing every chance to score tonight with some other, more probable target. Third mistake. A blockhead doesn't realize he's been demoted to a servant, until the moment comes when the girls go home and leave him standing. You may call me Mr. H.M.R. Blockhead.

Also, being in the position where you're asked for favours is not the place to be. Now don't get me wrong. I'd help my friends any day, and they'd have to owe me huge amounts of favours before I stop doing that. Unfortunately, this arrangement loses its functionality when you fall into the uncanny valley. And what you can't get it into your blockhead, is that the sexual relationship is not going to happen. Actively avoiding "mere" friendship ends up making you way too accessible. And in the futile hope of advancing out of the uncanny valley, you end up being the blockheadeded servant suitable for more or less quick favours. Until I need you again, Mr. Blockhead, they'll say.

I've now begun to comprehend, after excessive head bashing into various wall-like structures, that whoever said "nice guys always finish last" was a bloody genious.