Walkabout

Wikipedia: Walkabout is an Australian pidgin (or perhaps quasi-pidgin) term referring to the belief that Australian Aborigines "go walkabout" at the age of thirteen in the wilderness for six months as a rite of passage. They then trace the path of the ceremonial ancestors of their tribe, following the exact route that those ancestors took, and imitating in a fashion, their heroic deeds. These paths are known as the Songlines.

After an enlightening meeting with our new bosses, I found myself downtown at noon with nothing to do. Turning my soon to be illegal mp3-player to the illegally downloaded track of Opeth's Ghost Reveries, I realized I had so much shit cluttering up my head, that I needed to give myself a minute.

So, instead of taking the first bus towards home, I walked past the bus station. And the next few bus stops. Nope, still no answers.

I walked past Lauttasaari. Nothing. Opeth changed to Nevermore.

Past Hanasaari, past Keilalahti, past Tapiola. Nothing. I began to wonder if there was any point in this hike, this Finnish summer is fucking freezing.

At my doorstep I realized something. Not in that epiphany type of way, but enough to make me stop in my steps. First of all, I think too much. Secondly, the instant one lowers their Berlin wall of cynicism, they become vulnerable emotionally. How easy it would be to just crawl back into that shell and not give a damn. Too bad I can't afford that luxury. Someone once said not to stop feeling is not the real answer. Letting the feeling emerge, while at the same time distancing yourself from the reaction, is the only real way to handle situations. I hate knowing stuff at times like this.